One Friday Evening. . .

Change.

It’s funny how shaking things up a bit draws me toward introspection.  New house, new community, new “normal” has found me longing for moments of quiet and solitude.  The previous year of waiting kept me in survival mode most of the time and now the cobwebs in my mind are vying for attention.  Life is really, really loud.  Time to think, process, and to just be, very rarely present themselves.  But still, the questions are there–I can hear them.  Questions about purpose.  Questions about faith.  Questions about the kind of person I want to be and the kind of life I want to live.  Questions about what is important. . . and what is not.

Right now, I’m chewing on it all.  Working it out on the roads.  (Roads that are much more hilly than my old roads.)  Wondering–can I even say it out loud?  How much is too much to risk for authenticity?  ‘All of it’ seems the only answer.  But what should be private?  What should be public?  What should be silent?

There are no right and wrong answers to those questions except that which is right or wrong for each person.  I believe that.  I’m sorting through the questions now.  Slowly.  Deliberately. 

In the meantime, life carries on and we continue to find stories worth remembering amidst our everyday, normal life.  Like last Friday when I was sitting in my office and I heard Chanelle call out, Why is the front door open?  I turned to look and the scene unfolded in seconds.  Out my office window I noticed Meadow standing slyly on the front porch.  Chanelle stepped out onto the porch while I ran at a speed that I’m sure would have matched Michael Johnson at the ’96 Olympics. 

It was inevitable.  I knew what was about it happen.

At first, they stood back, uncertain and timid.  I imagine they were thinking, should we?  It took just one glance back toward Chad with a wary smile spread across his face and to me with camera aimed and ready.  Off they went. . .

The squeals, the laughter, the joy.  As I sat there and watched I thought back to how tired I was feeling just a few moments earlier.  I had been feeling completely drained and sapped of all energy.  All of a sudden, though, my energy was restored simply by the beautiful moments that were unfolding right before my eyes.  I looked up at Chad who was standing right next to me and told him, I needed this. . .

I think it was Chanelle who yelled out, Where’s Charlie?!?!  When I glanced up I saw Charlie charging at full speed from the side of the house.  Chad and I watched from afar as our crazy children did what they do best–

. . . they made life fun.

Chanelle called out, Mommy, do you know where the umbrella is? I told her that it might be in the garage, but I wasn’t sure.

I guess a hula hoop is just as good. 

. . . and a baseball bat.

I sat in the straw that will soon be our front yard and felt deep gratitude for the man I married who taught me to let these things happen.  Grateful to have learned the dirt comes out, water drenched floors can be cleaned, and goose-bumped skin is cured in moments with a warm shower.  But these moments? 

These moments give us memories that will last a lifetime. 

I’m grateful that, while we don’t say ‘go for it’ every time, when we do–we never regret it. 

Even when it’s cold. . .

And when all was said and done and my heart was full of joy I looked up at Chad and do you want to know what I said? 

I wish Miss Nancy could see this. . . 

Have a happy day, Friends.