It Might Look Like Just A Walk In the Park. . .

Late Friday evening we returned to what really isn’t our home anymore from our almost finished home.  After getting the kids to bed, I sat down at the computer to finish editing my last session and tie up a few loose ends on a few other projects.  It was late and I was tired and I turned and looked at Chad who had collapsed on the couch after what had been a long week.  A long year, really.

It has been about one year since we put the house up for sale. We know that we are in the homestretch of the craziness of constant running from here to there and everywhere.  We are only weeks away from having life feel just a little more normal. (Whatever normal is.)  It was also less than a year ago when we decided to take a chance and give SummerK Photography a go.  Trying to sell a house, build a house and start a business all at the same time was probably not the best planning on our part.  Some things, though, you just can’t plan.

As much as I wish I could say ‘I’ve taken it all in stride’. . . I can’t.  Break down moments have happened more than I’d like to admit.  My house (or the house we used to own) gets far more dusty than it did in the past.  Okay, some days it’s downright filthy.  Clean clothes sit in the dryer far too long and dirty clothes often sit unwashed in the washer when I forget to press the “Start” button on the machine.  Far too often,  I look at the clock and notice it’s nearly 5 and I should probably have some sort of decent meal on the table.  Baby carrots and applesauce count as appropriate side dishes, right?

Friday night I looked at Chad sitting on the couch and had another minor break down.  I feel like I’m loosing it, I told him.  I can’t even slow down enough to think.  I just need to think.  (Seriously, I’d be great in a soap opera.)  Do you want to know what Chad told me to do?  He told me to blog.  He said, put your editing aside and sit down and blog.  You need to carve out the time, Summer. 

He’s a good guy. . . I try to never take that for granted.

I am not successful at balancing yet.  (Sidenote:  “Learn to balance” is at the top of my to-do list when we move.) Truth is. . . when I come here I am able to drown out the noise and focus on what is important. If even for a moment, coming here allows me to push aside deadlines, insecurities and expectations and do what I love to do most. . . I get to celebrate life. 

Maybe it is silly or crazy, but somehow through images and words I am better able to connect with the truth of life. . .

. . . the truth that says. . . you have much for which to be thankful.

I know we all have different personalities and different ways of functioning.  As the years move forward, I am beginning to understand how important it is for me to slow down and take in life.  When things start moving too fast I lose focus and life feels out of control.  However, when I slow down and drink in tiny moments–everything seems okay again.  Even if the tiny moments are couched in a whole lot of chaos.

I think what I am learning is that just as brushing my teeth or locking my doors or running or saying prayers of thanks have become discipline. . . so has coming here.  In a way, writing it down has become a declaration. . .

A declaration that says. . . life is beautiful. 

I know I run the risk of over-simplifying.  I know that life happens and often times really hard things happen.  Like my Dad said to me just this weekend. . .”we don’t have problems.”  I appreciate the perspective I get when I come here. Perspective that forces me to celebrate the tiny moments that make up what life is really all about.  To some it might just be a walk through a park. . .

. . . but to me, these moments are life defining. 

Writing, reflecting, thinking, and celebrating remind me that dust is just dust, business is just business, packing is just packing, moving is just moving. . .

Notice the crinkle eye smile

. . . but these tiny snippets of time?  This is what life is all about. 

And you want to know something?  When I began writing this post, my heart was heavy and my mind chaotic.  But now?  Now, I feel different. . .

. . . now I feel peace.

Thank you for letting me spew it all here.

Have a lovely day.