The Purple Cow

Earlier this week Chad and I were having a passing conversation (if you have children, you understand that almost all conversations are in passing) in the kitchen.  I was talking about things I hoped for our future, the kind of person I want to be, and my constant battle to refrain from comparing myself and my work to others.  (Isn’t this what everyone discusses while pouring an evening snack of Lucky Charms mixed with Shredded Wheat?)

I don’t want to just follow everyone else, I told him.  I want to be able to trust my instincts and follow my gut. I hate the way I feel when I know I’m only doing something because everyone else is doing it.
We were discussing my venture into the field of photography and all that comes with it.  Once again I was trying to bridge the gap between who I want to be and who I think I’m supposed to be to, “keep up”, shall we say?  Anyway, Chad followed up my musings with a unique response. . .

You want to be like the Purple Cow, he said.
I was confused. The Purple Cow?
Yeah, it’s a book written by Seth Godin. 

Chad gave me a quick summary of the book and explained that when we drive by a field covered with livestock, we barely take notice.  The brown and white animals are as common and indistinct as the grassy fields where they graze.  But if we drove by a field and saw a purple cow. . . we would take notice. 

I mulled over his words and my thoughts immediately turned to a conversation my friend Lisa and I had earlier that morning.  (There are no one topic conversations in our life.)  Lisa is a teacher and had learned of the pregnancy of a 7th grader in a local school.  The question that is always on my mind came up. . . how do I protect them?

Enter:  The Purple Cow.

My conversation with Chad quickly turned to a conversation about our kids and the question:  how do we raise them in such a way that they aren’t afraid to be “a purple cow”, so to say? 

When I look at them now I see such innocence and purity. The thought of losing that is almost more than my stomach can handle.  The selfish part of me wants to wrap my arms around them and hold them close to me and protect them from any harm that might come their way.  I want to stand up to bully’s for them, I want to Just Say No for them, I want to resist peer pressure for them, I want to cover their hearts with steel so nothing can penetrate and wound them. 

I want to. . . but I know I can’t. 

As my Dad recently said to me. . . they will be bruised, that’s a part of life.

Despite knowing that his words are true, hearing them is like a kick in the gut.  With everything in me. . . I don’t want them to be true.  My heart aches at the thought of sending them into a world where Teen Mom‘s are glamorized, school’s are locked down, and to be a “lady” or a “gentleman” is a lost art.

Don’t get me wrong.  I do know that there are a lot of wonderful people in the world and goodness is all around.  However, I also know that the world is far different than it used to be and that scares me. 

Chad’s purple cow illustration has been playing in my mind all week.  I’ve been asking myself the questions like. . . what does it mean to stand out?  How does one set ones self apart?

I’ve come up with just one answer. . . be true to yourself. . .

That’s what I most want Charlie, Chanelle, and Meadow to understand in life, and as I’ve thought about it, I know that the best way to teach them is to live it myself.  I think what that means, at least for me, is to pay attention to that still small voice from deep within that so clearly speaks, yet is so often drowned out by the noise of the crowd. 

Photographer:  Chanelle

I’ll be honest. . . I’m not sure how to work all of this out.  I’m not sure how to guide them when I am  aware that my own footing is often times so shaky. What I do know, is that we will talk about The Purple Cow.  We will talk about what it means to trust your gut and follow your heart.  We will talk about how hard it is to be different and that it’s okay to be different.  

Ultimately, we will talk about how important it is to simply be who we are.

“To thine own self be true.” –Shakespeare