Denial

I’ve been trying to write this post since Thursday night.  I think that, somehow, my computer is emitting some sort of toxic ray resulting in heavy eyes, scrambled thoughts, and fingers that feel far too heavy to tap dance all over the keyboard.  Thursday night I fell prey to sleep.  Same with Friday.  Saturday offered no extra time and Sunday. . .well, Sunday I found anything else to do. . . anything.  Bake a peach cobbler, color with Chanelle in the front yard, clean our appliances, oh and of course 8 o’clock at night seems like the perfect time to wax the kitchen floor, right?

Now it’s nearly 10 p.m. and I sit in a quiet house and with the lull in activity I am drawn to this place.

It started early last week. . . my denial, that is.  It began with a large envelope that arrived in the mail and the return address clearly displayed the name of Chanelle’s preschool.  Like someone threw a cold glass of water in my face I was jolted by the arrival of this material. . . already??!!  Why are they sending me preschool information this early?  It’s still got to be the beginning of June, right?  A quick calculation and glance toward the calender highlighted my error. . . oh my, it’s nearly August?!

Enter:  Denial

I placed those papers on the kitchen counter and have avoided looking at them ever since.  Don’t they know. . . we’ve got more summer to enjoy?

It’s not that we haven’t done that whole school thing before, it’s just that, I am loving having my kiddos home.  I enjoy the extra time to be less structured and slow down.  Summer break is not just for kids, it’s for Mama’s, too.

There are so many things I love about summer.  Of course the warm temperatures and natural light.  The blooming flowers and the lush greens.  The shedding of layers and the lathering of sunscreen effortlessly lift the spirits.  More than anything, though, it’s the time.  Time to slow down and soak in the everydayness of everyday. 

Truly, it’s the everydayness that is the best part of every day.

From impromptu trips to the park right before bedtime to simply enjoying all that we have right in our own backyard we have had no problem filling our days.

What I have found most enjoyable is that Charlie and Chanelle have enjoyed the everydayness as much as I have. Each evening, Chanelle will put out the invitation. . . Mama, want to go back there?. . . and she points to the field behind our house.  There is nothing special back there but grass, trees, and a few “paths”, but Chanelle’s enthusiasm about the space is undeniable.  Personally, I think she feels what I feel. . . the slowing down, the enjoying the beauty, the togetherness we feel just by being present as the sun settles below the trees.

I’m not ready to say good-bye to lazy evenings, adventurous afternoons, and spur of the moment playdates.  I’m just not ready.

So, for a little while longer those papers will remain on the counter while we enjoy summer for a bit longer.  Irresponsible?  Maybe. . .

. . . but so far, denial is working for me.

Have a Happy Monday, Friends!