Unforgetable Moments

Without a doubt, we all have moments in time that we carry with us forever.  Tiny snippets of  memories that are etched in our minds and played over and over again like a well worn cassette tape of the 80s.  Some of these memories are painful, drawing out tears and heartache as we relive hurt, tragedy, or loneliness.  Other memories are happy and produce smiles and deep sighs of joy as we reflect on the warmth that fills our souls as we remember. 

When you have young kids there is a never ending bank of these good moments that I wish could be cataloged and revisited whenever I want.  There are so many, in fact, that I fear there is no way I will be able to remember them all.  There is a memory, however, that Chad and I revisit often–even after almost six years distance has been put between then and now. 

To this day we still talk about napping with Charlie.

Oh, there was nothing like it.  I would watch the clock with anticipation for the moment when Charlie and I would snuggle close together on the couch in the middle of the afternoon.  I remember the way he fit perfectly between my torso and my left arm as he would suck, suck, suck on his bottle.  I remember watching the way his eyes got heavier and heavier as he fought the sleep that his little body needed.  I remember how the gulps from the bottle became smaller and smaller before they halted all together and the bottle slipped from his mouth.  My favorite part of this routine was listening to his breath slow and find a lyrical rhythm that matched the beauty of a poets sonnet. 

I wasn’t the only one that got to experience these precious moments.  Chad has these memories as well.  When Charlie was a baby, I was in grad school and Chad would rush home from work so I could leave for class.  As I would approach the door to leave, Chad would head to the couch and place his new little boy on his chest.  In the quiet they laid until Chad heard the same soft rhythm of breathing.  Together, my boys would catch a little shut eye as their hearts pounded against each other. 

Such wonderful memories.

When Chanelle came along, these quiet moments were much fewer and farther in between.  The crib became her place of napping, while we did our best to entertain and keep quiet a two year old.  Of course there were moments in the middle of the night when our little girl would rest on our chest and the house was silent enough to enjoy it. . . but it was not quite as easy with two kids.

My little girl gave up naps quite some time ago and with her constant sidekick gone at school, Chanelle depends on me to keep her busy.  This pregnant Mama is T.I.R.E.D.  The other day after several games of memory, walks, baking, legos, and running errands. . . it was my turn to pick our activity. 

Let’s read some books in your bed, Chanelle!  I was surprised when she was game for such and inactive activity.  The two of us climbed up her loft with an armful of books.

One after another, we worked our way through the pile in the quiet of her bedroom.

After about five books, this pregnant mama’s eyes were getting heavy.  I tried to fight it, but it wasn’t worth it.  Let’s take a little nap, I suggested to my bouncy little girl.  No, I want to play, she said.  Before I knew it she was climbing down the loft and in my half wake/half sleep state I heard her in the living room playing with Charlie’s dinosaurs who were apparently deep in battle.  After several moments, I heard footsteps running down the hallway and up the ladder to her loft. 

Without a word, my little girl snuggled up against my neck until there was not an inch of space between us.  I watched her eyes as they blinked, blinked, blinked, before becoming heavy and disappearing behind her eyelids and her breath was hot against me.

We laid together for more than an hour. . . her fast asleep and me afraid to move and lose this special moment.  In my heart I was uttering thank yous for this precious moment that was such a rare gift.  I willed myself to memorize every detail. . .