Kids tucked peacefully in their beds, the rumble of a football game playing upstairs, lights are dimmed and I approach my keyboard ready to capture just a bit of it. When all is calm and I reflect on a beautiful weekend filled with a good mix of fun activity and quiet moments–all seems right with the world.
I’d hate to paint a picture of perfection, though. That would be a lie. Our life is not perfect. Our children are not perfect. We are not perfect. I would be remiss if I didn’t own up to the fact that there are moments when the constant chatter from these two precious bundles are more than my ears can handle and tearing my ears off seems like a very good option. I should tell you that Chanelle and I battled for over an hour this evening over one bite of a sweet potato. She held it in her mouth and refused to swallow it. I refused to give in. After thirty minutes she was removed from the table and faced away from the activity of the rest of us. I even snapped a picture of that one.
There are days when making it to bedtime seems like the victory of completing a marathon. No, winning a marathon. There are moments when I am lost in my own “stuff” and forget that there really is life out there. There are days when the grief of losing my Mom is so raw that I’m sure everyone must see the orange size lump in my throat. There are moments when I just can’t stop the tears. . .
But there are other days that are simply beautiful. Days when I wish I could bottle up the feelings, the smells, the words and take them with me everywhere I go. Days where I wish time would stand still so I could enjoy the moment for just a little longer. . .
This was one of those days. . .
When my early birds awoke I was ready to take them on a picnic breakfast. Off to the park we went. They were bursting with excitement.
There we sat. . . just the three of us. The park was all ours. The kids laughed, talked, ate, and enjoyed. They talked to me and they talked to each other. There was no schedule, it was our time to enjoy. There is nothing like hearing your kids talk to one another. I’m sure this only gets better as they get older, but even now at ages 4 and 2, I love to hear their conversations. They talked about the trees and the birds, the playground, and the hike we were going to take. They talked about Daddy and working and our plans for the weekend. The best part?
They laughed. . .together.
Then it was time for a hike in the woods. Now the excitement was unbearable!
Let me tell you. Children have an amazing ability to draw you in and allow you to see the beauty in the now. These two had as much enthusiasm about throwing rocks into a creek, wading through water, and watching sticks flow with the water as most kids have about going to Disney World. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
The morning took quite a turn when Charlie lost his flip-flop in the creek and it flowed down river. He actually shed tears about it. I tried to take the moment for a “life lesson” and impart my vast wisdom about people being more important than “things”. I shared with him that we can buy new shoes and it was nothing to be sad about. He didn’t get it. He continued to cry and search for it down river. And guess what? He found it. . .
And I got to be the hero.
I guess what I really want to say this evening is that I am far from having arrived. I continue on this journey doing the best I can to learn and to grow and making plenty of mistakes along the way. And as much as the good times, happy events, and beautiful moments are life. . . so are the mistakes. . . .and that pretty much rocks my world.
Oh, and the sweet potato? Chanelle won.
I’ll get her next time.
(I feel that you are a phenomenal mom. And woman.)