Three Months Ago. . .

Three months ago, in the chill of the early morning hours, Chad and I walked across a darkened parking lot loaded down with our bags and our uncertainties.  We walked into the maternity ward of the hospital while our hearts pounded nervously.  How is our life going to change?  How is our family going to change?  Are we messing up something that already feels so right?  How is this transition going to go?

Three months ago, I had no idea that a tiny little being would create such clarity.  That she would bring life into greater focus.  That suddenly, things would seem clearer.

Three months ago it would be proven again. . . love doesn’t divide, it multiplies.

It is strange when I realize that she has only been with us for three short months.  Three months?!  I honestly don’t remember a time when she wasn’t with us.  It’s as if she has always been a part of “us”.  And really, if I look at the bigger picture. . . she has. . . I just didn’t know it.

I’m one of those people who believe that we are born with a plan and for a purpose.  I believe that this little girl is here for a reason. . . just as her brother and sister are.  I think one of the greatest things about being their Mom is watching this plan and purpose unfold. 

Three months ago we welcomed a wrinkly little newborn into our lives and today we delight in the way she has grown and changed.  From her cheeks that take up half of her body weight to her toes that curl when we kiss them, this little life has only brought delight to all four of us.

I’m not sure when that “newness” wears off.  You know what I’m talking about. . . how each time they smile you beckon the entire family because the smile is an event.  Or, each coo and gurgle creates a shut down of all other sounds. . . shhhh! She’s talking!!  And still, after three months, we all huddle around the monitor in the mornings when we hear her stir.  Charlie and Chanelle race to Meadow’s room and oooooh and awwww  as they watch her eyes light up at their appearance.  Without a doubt, the morning does not begin until they give her their gentle hugs. 

Nope, I’m not sure when the newness wears off, but I know it’s not three months.

I think back to the questions that filled our minds as we walked into the unknowns of a family of five.  If I would have known then what I know now. . . I would understood there is no need to fear. 

How is our life going to change?  It’s going to be more beautiful.
How is our family going to change?  It’s going to be fuller.
Are we messing up something that already feels so right?  Nope, it’s going to be more complete.
How is this transition going to go? It’s going to be just fine.

Three months ago I didn’t realize that the heart has an endless capacity for love.  Love her we do.

And as we celebrate our third month with Meadow, it only seems fitting to that it should happen on the week that is all about love.  It’s touted as a Halmark holiday.  A day created by greeting card companies to sell more cards.  It’s often overlooked or remarked about sarcastically.  Some think it’s only for lovers while others see it as a source of pain.

Valentines Day. . .you won’t hear a bah humbug from me.

Who am I to look down my nose at a day when I can celebrate my most precious gifts?  I won’t do it.  I can’t do it.  In our house, Valentine’s Day is a family affair that begins first thing in the morning. .  .

Can you think of a better way to celebrate than pink, heart-shaped pancakes?  Yeah, me either.  I don’t really buy into the “buying” of Valentine’s day, but I am all over the talking about and celebrating love.  Charlie, Chanelle and I spent the day preparing for a special meal that evening.  While Charlie cut out heart decor, Chanelle and I prepared a special dessert.

Maybe they would have loved to get big stuffed teddy bears or heart shaped boxes of candy, but I had a better idea.  What could be better than giving them a meat mallet and allowing them to hammer in the kitchen? 

It really is the little things.

We spent all day in the kitchen, just the three of us, making memories that I’m sure will last a very long time.

And when all is said and done, the thought crosses my mind. . . is it worth it?  The time, the mess, the energy?  Is it really worth it?

And as quickly as the thought appears, it is gone.