Last night before bed Chanelle picked the book, Duck! Rabbit! to read. It’s a fun book for little ones. When she handed it to me I asked, do you know who this book reminds me of? Charlie and Chanelle answered in unison, Noni! The book is one of the many cool books my mom had given to them. Our conversation continued. . .
Chanelle: I miss Noni.
Me: (tears in eyes) I miss Noni, too. She sure was fun, wasn’t she?
Chanelle: Yeah. She was a lot of fun. I miss her.
Me: (tears streaming now) I know sweetie, I miss her, too.
Chanelle and I continued our conversation a bit while Charlie silently made his way up to his loft. I didn’t think he was listening until he suddenly looked over at us and said, Noni’s here with us right now.
Curious about what his six year old mind was thinking I asked what he meant. His response was immediate: “She’s always with us. . . She’s in our hearts.”
Chanelle: Yeah. She was a lot of fun. I miss her.
Me: (tears streaming now) I know sweetie, I miss her, too.
Chanelle and I continued our conversation a bit while Charlie silently made his way up to his loft. I didn’t think he was listening until he suddenly looked over at us and said, Noni’s here with us right now.
Curious about what his six year old mind was thinking I asked what he meant. His response was immediate: “She’s always with us. . . She’s in our hearts.”
Oh, how I love that boy. He’s right. She is. . . she’s always in our hearts. And maybe, that’s why it’s so dang hard sometimes. My heart has been especially tender lately. The anticipation of a new life, the holidays, togetherness with family, changes. . . without her. There is no way around it, really. Every sweet moment carries with it a tinge of bitterness because she’s not with us.
Through the last year I’ve learned that the only way through it, is well, through it. And that’s what we will do. As I walk through this time, I hold on to my wise sons words knowing that she truly is, always in our hearts.
I carry you with me into the world,
into the smell of rain
& the words that dance between people
& for me, it will always be this way,
walking in the light,
remembering being alive together.
–Story People
into the smell of rain
& the words that dance between people
& for me, it will always be this way,
walking in the light,
remembering being alive together.
–Story People
Tears for you today, my friend. It's hard to miss someone so incredibly dear to your heart in moments when you want nothing else but to have them with you, celebrating with you, watching everyone grow, and getting those first glimpses of new life being added to your family. Even though you know she can watch it all from heaven, it's still not the same on earth and I honor you for voicing those hurts. May God comfort you right where you are at today and may you know it's okay to be no where else but there in the midst of your tears, pain, and longing. God will meet you there. It's comforting to know we can even receive words of blessing from our own children, isn't it! Bless Charlie today for his insight, Lord and bless Chanelle for her tender heart.
Wow. What a sweet, loving little boy you have.
HUGS TO YOU!
Wow….just amazing. How incredibly sweet by both of them.
what a sweet and wise boy… i have a tender soul like that too in my little boy.. gosh we are such lucky mamas.. thank you for sharing this lovely story at shutter sisters today.
hugs to you Summer…I don't know what it's like to lose a mother, but I do know loss and how it affects our children. We lost our grandma 2 years ago. She was especially close to my boys. They still talk about her and miss her terribly…and your lil' guy has a wonderful heart! He is so wise beyond his years! I pray my boys keep the pureness they have in their hearts now…and I pray for you during all these beautiful changes in your life. While there is bitterness, carry that in your heart that she is with you…
*hugs to you friend*