. . . that’s a quote by William Cowper. I like it.
Grief is a funny thing. It creeps up on you when you least expect it and rushes at you with the force of a 350 pound football player. You want to jump aside or at least run the other way, but it comes so quickly and without warning you absolutely can not get out of the way. I’ve come to be familiar with these surprise rushes of emotions and most often others don’t even know they are happening. There are other times, though, when I am left with this indescribable sense of yuck that leaves me feeling raw for days. I had one of those this weekend.
Our families came together to celebrate the kids birthdays and we had a wonderful afternoon. The presents had been opened, lunch eaten, and the cakes had been cut and we were all just hanging out. My Dad and my brother and sister were side by side and someone was taking their picture. . .
Being the forgotten middle child that I am (a joke) I quickly exclaimed, “Hey, I need to be in that picture!” and ran to jump in behind my Dad. . .
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| Sorry for the blurry pic |
I don’t want this blog to be all about the loss of my Mom, but I do want to acknowledge that this is the season I am in and some days are better than others.
This space helps me heal.
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But just as the sun can burst through the clouds in an instant and transform what was an overcast morning into an afternoon of abundant light. . . I can always find things that make me smile and produce such joy. . . every. single. day.
Like last night when Chanelle said to Chad, “Now, I’ll be the princess and you can be the prince and we can dance. Can you turn on the music.?
“No Daddy, you need to put your hand here (pointing to her waist) and hold my hand like this (holding her hand up in perfect dance pose) and my feet need to be on the ground in the living room.
Oh, I'm crying for you right now, friend.
I don't have the words to say, but I support you with my whole heart.
And please know that this space that you're in – this season – is welcome here and safe in this forum.
You're loved.
Oh Summer, I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes we can prepare ourselves for times that we know the pain of loss will hurt, such as birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, but at other times, the pain of loss seems to leap out when we least expect it. I am so thankful for your relationship with Jesus and for the woman you are because of your relationship with Him, and your response to all that He has given you. That's not to say, as you share in your post that you don't cry or miss your mom at times, but you constantly return to a perspective of thankfulness, choosing to dwell on all that you have…He does give us all that we need, in our time of need. Love you.